Freaking Out!

Okay, so first, I want you to know that I do not do well in stressful or seemingly crisis situations. Whenever something goes wrong and I don't know how to fix it or who to ask about it and especially when it interferes with my daily activities, I FREAK OUT!

I can't really explain why this happens, it has just always been the way that I am. Most likely, I will cry if I don't have someone there to help me figure things out. And I have almost cried today because of such an event.

I got to my class during which I am allowed to work on my dual credit online college course. Then, even though I know the class won't start for another week, I logged on to the website in order to check and make sure that everything was okay. But when I got to the website, it didn't show me being enrolled in any classes.

It had done something like that before, so I figured it was just a glitch and went ot investigate further. However, it showed that I had dropped my sociology class for this semester. I searched through all the web pages to find why but I couldn't figure it out.

So, now I am sitting here with my heart racing, telling myself not to freak out, but that is exactly what I am doing. You probably couldn't tell by looking at me, but its definately happening.

I have thought about going to the counselor to ask her about it. However, I have this innate hatred toward our school counselor because she sucks (and I don't use that work lightly... or ever) at getting things done and is not a very people-oriented person. I feel like all she'll do if I go down to her office is just insult me or call me stupid because she doesn't want to deal with me. Then she'll look something up and say that I can't take the class for some strange reason and give me a crazy other option and I won't have the ability to talk to my mom about it before making a decision and really if I had just talked to the people at the college they would have just said it was a glitch and they would fix it right away.

I'm really also scared that if I don't go down to talk to her that my mom will make me talk to her tomorrow and I'll go all day today and tomorrow worrying about it. Now I feel all sick inside.

I don't know what to do. I'm afraid that whoever I go to will basicallly just say that I'm stupid or I did something wrong and I won't be able to fix it.

And the books that I had to order for the online class have already been bought and shipped and I'm just scared.





I


AM



SCARED........



I have drama practice today from 4 to 6 so I'll just call my mom before practice starts and ask her what I should do. I'm just afraid that if I start talking to someone about it I'll start crying. That generally happens when I try to talk things like this out with somebody. The counselor is dealing with schedule problems anyway with it being the first day back at school. She probably will be hateful and "not have time to deal with" me anyway.

I wrote down the problem on my top slip of paper on my clipboard, that way I won't forget it. I generally do that or write things on my hand/wrist when I need to remember them.

Now I just need something to distract myself.





I started writing a book yesterday. A children's book. I want very much to finish this one.

I did something different though. I started with the pictures instead of the story. The pictures were sketches that I lightly colored with watercolor colored pencils, then took water and went over to smudge the color around.

I haven't done them all yet. Only about four. I have them hanging on a piece of string strung diagonally from wall to wall above my bed. I wanted to use clothes pins to hang them when they were drying, but I only had paperclips. It still looks cool anyway.

My little brother got a comic book making kit for Christmas. It had paper and three binding things and a couple of cover pages. He also decided the other day that he wants to be an author when he grows up. I had to watch him yesterday for most of the day, so we got it out and started writing books. He still gets upset when things aren't perfect or he can't think of anything though, so he took quite a few breaks for cartoon watching.

I have calmed down significantly now. I'm still anxious and nervous and scared, but I can deal with it.

Love,
Elizabeth W.

Laziness...

I have been rather lazy the last few days. I have gotten things done in my laziness, but I was lazy  nonetheless.

I started editing the "Zombie" music video using PowerDirector on Christmas. We didn't have as many places to go as we normally do, so I had some free time. I worked on it yesterday and today also, so I am about half way done. I thought I was more than 3/4 done, but it turns out I had somehow been missing part of the audio track, so I went back and re-downloaded it and I am half way done.

I love PowerDirector as far as the editing aspect. There are so many different things you can do to make a video look how you want it to look. However, I wish it had better titles and credits. It only has like four title options and none for credits. I think I'll just finish the video, then bring it into movie maker to add in the title and credits.

I also plan on having a video commentary explaining different parts. Basically, I'll turn on my webcam and film my comments and reactions as I watch the finished video.

I have started writing a book. My brother is really bad at setting up things like the Xbox and Wii and DVD player, so I am making a short book for him. That way, when I go off to college, I know he will be able to do these things himself. I have about nine pages so far in Microsoft Word. Of course, that includes the title page and table of contents, and a lot of the book is just a skeleton outline so far.

I have started on this thing called a "smash book" that I got for christmas. Basically, it is a scrapbook of messiness and random stuff. It doesn't have to be perfect, and you can record whatever you want in it. I plan to post some pictures of it on here soon. It is not something that you just sit down and do, then be finished with. It is an ongoing project to help you keep up with your memories.

My grandpa got me a caligraphy set for Christmas. I think its rather cool, but it will require some practice to get good at it. I guess I'll use it to write a letter to him someday or something like that.

We have a fancy one-cup-at-a-time coffee maker now. It makes really good coffee, hot chocolate, and tea. It should make it easier and faster to make coffee on school mornings too. My mom said there is a chance I might get one of my own when I go off to college. That would be amazing.

Well, I'm going to go get some food or coffee or something. Goodbye for today!

Love,
Elizabeth W.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas everyone! This is my first blog post from my new laptop. Christmas has been great so far, but there is still a ways to go. I posted a vlog this morning, so if you want more details about my day that started at 6:00 this morning with me waking everyone up, check my youtube channel. See you all in a few days!

Love,
Elizabeth W.

Wow...

449... All I can say is wow... I never thought I could get so many views in one month. Thank you all so much. I have no doubt that you all will each 500 before tomorrow.

Hecticness. That is what my day has been like so far. Yesterday my mom lectured to me for an eternity becuase I hadn't asked the yearbook spnosor about senior page details. She made me write down a list of things to ask about. I technically didn't ask about one of them, but I figure I have enough information to live through Christmas.

I also get to be Santa today. I brought all of my friends' Christmas gifts to school and I am slowly giving them out. Technically, I am only giving out three today, but that is the majority of them. My friend, Ellen, and I exchanged gifts first thing this morning. I gave her a Doctor Who shirt that I had made, along with a personality-describing shirt and a Christmas ornament with her name. She got me a TARDIS. We are such Whovians. The tardis is about four or five inches tall and when you pull it back, then let it go, it moves forward and spins and bobbles like the real TARDIS. She says she had to resist the urge to open it and play with it. She supposedly ordered a Dalek for herself that does something similar.

In spanish class, which is my last class of the day, we are going to have our secret santa gift exchange today. I really cannot wait to see who my secret santa is. A couple of people already know who theirs is, but I think that just ruins all of the fun. I really don't care what I get, I just want to see how well this person knows me.

Last period, I sat and talked with my friend, Aymie, the whole time. We spent quite some time on the subject of "adventuring". Personally, adventuring is one of my favorite things to do. Basically, adventuring is going out into the woods or down the road or in an old abandoned house just to see what is there and possibly picking up a cool souvenir while you're there. Its not criminal activity because we don't break anything or damage property in any way. Its just cool to see things like that and think about who might have lived there before or who might have left such an object behind and why.

Its like being an explorer or the star of a mystery novel. Adventuring is something that is best to do with friends, too. No less than one, no more than four. Everyone's imagination is going crazy as you wander through uncharted territory. Everyone is silent for the most part, so any animal noise, a rustling of leaves, or a random shout from a mile away scares the living daylights out of everyone. Its scarier when its dark, but adventuring can be done anytime. The real entertainment is being somewhere that no one has been in quite some time. Occasionally, you find things that lead you to think that someone might be living there now or has been there recently. Sometimes you get yelled at by people who see you, but don't even own the property.

I am absolutely starving right now. I have not eaten anything at all today. I didn't really have dinner last night either. I only have about an hour until I can have food, so maybe I can survive until then.

Tomorrow, I will post the 100th post and my fanfic. I'm not completely finished. I might just have to find a stopping point and pick up at a later date. I really don't know how long this story will be, but I think I will start typing the draft today.

Love,
Elizabeth W.

Christmas Song Playlist

Just so you know, I have an obsession with making playlists. Last night I started making a Christmas one. I have it one my channel on youtube.

Songs included or to be included eventually:

Christmas Together - Jamie Grace

Christmas This Year - Tobymac

Shake It Up - Train

The Baby - Family Force 5

My Favorite Things - Family Force 5

The Christmas Can Can - Straight No Chaser

Who Spiked The Eggnog - Straight No Chaser

Joy To The World - Nick Jonas

Donde Esta Santa - Straight No Chaser

I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas - Gayla Peevey

How Many Kings - Downhere

Christmas In Our Hearts - Downhere

I hope you like the playlist. I will add more songs tonight. Feel free to comment and tell me what Christmas songs you think should be on there.

By the way, The Baby by FF5 is my favorite Christmas song ever, and now its stuck in my head...

Gifts (for the Baby)


Presents (for the Baby)

I'll make it rain (all night on the Baby)

I got some Silver & Gold

Let the legend be told

Don't you know that I'm all about the Baby?


Love,
Elizabeth W.

It Always Happens...

375... I am metaphorically applauding you all right now. Good job, you only have 125 more to go before Friday.

So, today I recieved my first Christmas present of the year. My friend, Emily, gave it to me this morning as soon as I got to school. I really wasn't expecting it. It was a Christmas-y Sock Monkey (Another one for the collection!), some watercolor colored pencils and some dark chocolate hersheys kisses.

The only thing I worry about around this time is when people get me presents when I don't get them anything. I have to go home today and make three gifts. I have one person that got me something that I didn't plan for, and two people who might get me something, but I'm not sure about. I would like to give them gifts either way. One person is the person who I'm doing secret santa for in spanish class. I think I will just make her something small to go along with that. Technically, we are supposed to have a $20 limit on the secret santa gift, but I think I went a few dollars over. No biggie. Hopefully I have time to make some duct tape wallets before Friday.

Today, when I go home, I have to immediately get started on my Spanish project. Its due tommorrow, and I didn't get to work on it at all yesterday. I have to film four or five 30 second segments, then upload all of the video parts to the computer. After that, I have to try and convince my mom to buy a $15 upgrade/mod to Windows Movie Maker, so that I will have access to some editing effects that are actually useful. I have to edit and transfer the video to a DVD before the end of the day. Tommorow, the project is due. I am very nevous about how it will turn out, seeing as it was such short notice. I may end up staying up until like 10 or 11 tonight.

That means that my gift making for those three people will get pushed off to Thursday night, unless I can speed through the making of the video. But, I have to go to my brother's band concert Thursday night. Maybe I'll have some time between coming home from school and having to go back and see the concert. The concert should be over at around 8 or 9. We will probably go out to eat, so we will get home around 9 or 10. But, his concert won't start until 6 or 7. That means I have from 4:30 to 6 to work on gifts. I know I will make one for sure. I might need to plan out the colors and designs so that I know already what I will do.

On Saturday, I have to go to a family Christmas gathering at a relative's house. I'm not really looking foreward to it. Not only will almost all of the family from my dad's side be there, but also some random people that half of us don't know. I'll just bring my ukulele and my phone to entertain myself, and be ready to talk about what type of job I want to have and what college I plan to go to. Relatives always ask about that stuff. I'll prepare myself to recieve about a thousand random shallow complements and hug random strangers. Ugh. Family gatherings.

I gave a Christmas lesson in FCA today. I basically took the Christmas story and went more into detail, examining what it must have really been like, not just what happened. I mean, I think Mary must have been really afraid when the angel first appeared to her. And when she told Joseph, he must have been really suspicious and almost ashamed. The shepherds must have felt really special to have such a chior of angels gathering above them, singing praises to God. And the Wise men were probably a little confused when they came to the manger and saw the little toddler that was said to be their savior and king. I think its cool too that they brought the three gifts that they did. Gold said he was worthy. Frankincense said that they would worship him. Myrrh said that he would die but come back, saving us all. The way that God put all of the story together is just amazing.

Love,
Elizabeth W.

Storyboards are fun!

338... Yep, you all have overcome the 300 view mark. Now, onward to 500. FOR NARNIA!!! But, seriously, thanks to you all for doing this, I can't say how amazing it is to feel popular for once. Okay, that was kinda cheezy, but thats okay.

This is the last tuesday of 2012 that I have to go to school. I have exams tommorow and the next day, but I only really have one exam to take. AP Government. Gross. Having to take government is hard enough, but makingit AP is like kicking someone while they're down. Shooting a dead horse. Burning a demolished building. Torturing a dead man. Adding insult to injury. I really am not looking foreward to the two AP tests I will take at the end of next semester.

But, because I only have one exam to take, I get to have free time in most of my other classes! Whooooo! And what shall I spend that free time doing?

STORYBOARDING!!!!!!

Storyboarding is something that I love to do. I have never done it for a film, but I have done it for a few (2) music videos. I did it for the Zombie video that I filmed in October. Note, the video did change some in going from storyboard to actual video, but the main concept stayed the same. Some things have to change, thats just the crative process.

Every time I go to storyboard things, I think of two people: Tessa Violet and Isaac Dietz. Tessa because she, nanalew, and some guy from australia or something are making a kind of mini-series and posted a bunch of stuff about it and storyboarding it on youtube. Of course, their storyboarding involves post-it notes on a corkboard. My storyboarding involves drawing four boxes on each page of my notebook and drawing a picture in them, then explaining it with text on the right side of the page. It reminds me of Isaac Dietx because I have watched the video he posted of him explaining the treatment for the official Zombie music video. He has the song playing and he is running around this little room, explaining what should be happening at that point in the song. I found it rather entertaining. In the video, theres a little part in the corner that shows what the actual video looks like at that point in the music, and you can compare it to what he is explaining.

Right now, I am storyboarding a music video for Deathbed by Relient K right now. I have only worked on it today and yesterday and I already have 6 pages with four lyric segments on each page. I storyboard by lyric segments because it helps me set the video in my head with the timing of the music, and I am able to storyboard even when I don't have the music playing. I just know the lyrics and how the song goes. It also allows me to go back to the beginning and play in my mind what the whole thing would look like. The thing is, Deathbed is like a 10 minute song, and I'm only about 1 or 2 minutes into it on the storyboard. This should last me through the holidays.

I like storyboarding because it allows me to get the messages across that might be hard to explain otherwise. I can also jot down my music video ideas and have people look at them even when I have the inability to make the music video or show an already made music video to them. I think the next storyboard I'll do may be a skit or something. I've never storyboarded a skit. I can't wait until I go off to college so that I can actually have a large space to use to storyboard with post-it notes and stuff. I could use an entire wall in my dorm room and storyboard whatever I wanted to. I will have to invest in some sticky notes though. Christmas presents and graduation presents anyone?

I think I actually have a picture of the Zombie storyboard on my instagram. Feel free to stalk me on instagram, because I probably won't get a twitter anytime soon. You can watch the pictures I post and figure out what my day-to-day life is like. And I won't spam your feed. @lizardbreathwalker

Well, I want to go back to storyboarding, because I find it rather entertaining and fun.

Love,
Elizabeth W.

Things That Have Been On My Mind...

I have been doing a lot of thinking recently. This post is deticated to the things I have been thinking about.

Prom
I really don't know what to expect for prom this year. Our school lets you go to prom both your junior and senior year. Last year was fun. I actually was the one who asked someone to be my date. He said yes, but we weren't dating, so it was a little awkward. This year, I can't think of anyone that I would like to go with. Everyone that I can think of would never think about asking me and I would be too afraid to ask myself. I know that I will go, that thing is for sure. I love dancing and dressing up too much not to go. I just think I might be going alone this year. This saddens me...

College
I am very scared about college. I applied to two colleges and I am number four in my class, therefore, I should have been automatically accepted. I haven't gotten any letters or anything yet. I can't check online because I can't figure out the login information and there is no way to reset it. I am very stressed about it. I wish they would just send me a letter and get it over with. I sent everything in way before the deadlines. And I did it electronically, that way it would get through faster. But, I do have a last name that starts with a W. I may have been pushed to the end of the line just for that reason. Maybe. I don't know that much about how college works.

Homework
I have been working nonstop it seems like on homework. This last week, one of my teachers decided to assign a last minute project, due on thursday. So, I have to write, translate, film, and produce a spanish Christmas commercial before Thursday. And I have no DVDs because my parents decided that they needed them for school. Wish me luck on finishing that.

Family Force 5
I find that Family Force 5 music is very much becoming the soundtrack to my life. Nearly every time that I put my headphones on, that it who I am listening to. I love listening to their music while I drive. In fact, it makes me calmer and makes me drive better. I can't wait for them to make another music video or come on tour in my area.

Music Videos
I have been brainstorming a lot of music videos lately. I have a couple ideas for songs and stuff. I think I could make a really fitting one for "Deathbed" by Relient K. The song seems really sad at first, but it really is a good song with upbeat parts and tells a story of hope. I'm trying to learn the words and the ukulele chords and get my brother to learn the piano part. I got him to listen to the song for the first time last night and he said that he really liked it. I also have an idea for "Drama Queen" by FF5 and have had the idea for a long time for "Teenage Dream" by Katy Perry and "Raise Your Glass" by Pink. I think I just need to start making storyboards again. The music video for "Zombie" by FF5 is what I plan on working on next, however. I plan on using a demo of PowerDirector 10 during the Christmas break to do some amazing things with it. Look for the video some time in January.

Christmas Songs
I have learned a bunch of Christmas songs on the Ukulele and everyday I am learning more. I plan to put some videos of them on youtube before Christmas, and my brother and I plan on playing them at every Christmas gathering we go to. Maybe we'll upload some live recordings from cell phones on Christmas.

Cover Videos
I have found so many songs that I want to do covers of. Deathbed by relient k is one of them, but it is a really long song with a lot of lyrics to learn. Many songs that I like are impossible to find chords to online. I search and just when I think I've found them I'll come to a page that says "access denied" or "page not found". Then I post on yahoo answers and they just tell me to look in the places that I've already looked. Either way, I will have some new cover videos out within a week or so.

Documentaries
I think it would be really cool to make a Christmas documentary like I've discussed in previous posts, but I think I might wait until next year to do it. That way, I will have a little more prep time and I can get it out before Christmas. I will also be able to interview more people because I will be in college. I should have some better editing software by then too.

FanFiction Update
We have reached 314 views this month, but, if you haven't gotten the hint, I would love to get 500 views before the end of this week. I will post the fanfic at 500 views, so get to work telling your friends to look at the blog and subscribe to blog and youtube updates. Just so you know, that means that you have easier access to blog posts and youtube videos. But, to thank you for making it this far, I will post another small section of the fanfic for your enjoyment.

About ten or so people were scattered throughout the area, each working to accomplish a different task. Even so far away, I could hear Isaac shouting orders. Knowing that he probably didn't notice me come in, I made my way accross the warehouse to where they were. It didn't take long to be notice after I got within seeing distance of the band members. Of course, the first one to notice me was Jacob, AKA Crouton. Of course, how could I not be noticed by the one who pays the most attention to hair and clothing? "Hey guys, look!" he shouted," Its Lizardbreath!" Suddenly, I was surrounded by a mob of rambuncious musicians.

Well, thats all you get for today. I can't really think of anything else to write about.

Love,
From another LOVE ADDICT,
Elizabeth W.

236...

I just checked the number of views for this month, 236. I think that y'all can totally make 500 before next Friday. By the way, no one has commented on anything, meaning that I will probably have to choose which fanfic on my own. It really depends on how much I feel like typing at that point.

The play that I directed performed last night. We messed up a few times, but we did decently. Certainly better than the last few times. I was proud of my cast for just going along and winging it. The other two plays did okay too. I'm not such a big fan of "The Quiet Place". It just wasn't something that I enjoyed. I don't mean to bash the director or the actors, its just my opinion. "Do Not Go Gentle" was amazing though. Some of the actors were a little sub-par, but you don't get to choose actors in high school. I almost cried at multiple points during the play.

The cast that I am a part of performs tonight. I feel like I am prepared, but I am unsure about some of the other actors. I really just want to get it over with at this point. My grandparents are supposed to be in the audience tonight. Whether they will make it or not, no one knows, but they said that they would. At this point, I really don't care. I just want it to be tomorrow.

My spanish teacher assigned a last minute Christmas project yesterday. I have to make a commercial selling a Christmas product, in spanish. I plan to sell "Christmas Pets". Basically, I will have a bunch of different stuffed and live animals with Christmas accessories on them. I will say that they make great gifts, decorations, and you can even send Christmas animal-grams to you relatives. You can rent or buy them, and they can be real or fake. I am just excited that I get to work with video. The only drawback is that I can't use cue cards. But, I am in drama, so it shouldn't be that hard to memorize a few short lines.

I really want to make the Christmas documentary that I discussed yesterday. I feel like it could bring some very important issues into the view of people who can help. I also want to talk to both kids and adults in the interviews. That way I can get both sides of the story.

Just so you know, I am writing part of the FF5 fanfic while I type this, so this post may not be very long. I only type when I cannot think of what exactly to write. Just for your entertainment, I will put a quick little excerpt from the story. It comes from a part just after the beginning.

Not wanting to seem nervous or awkward, I briskly walked to the building. Just as I was reaching for the door handle, the door swung open, knocking me out of the way. A rough hand reached down to help me up and a familiar voice uttered "Oh, I'm sorry!" Soon, I found myself face-to-face with the golden-haired bass player, Derek Mount, AKA: Chapstique. "No, it's okay," I reassured him, trying not to sound like an obsessed fangirl. "The shoot doesn't start for two hours," he said. "Why exactly are you here?" Still in shock at how awesome it was to meet him in person, I managed to stutter, "Um... I talked with Isaac... I'm, umm.. Supposed to help with the video." His face lit up in recognition, "Oh, you must be Lizardbreath, err, Elizabeth! Isaac and the rest of the guys are inside. You might want to go find him and let him know you're here." "Thanks," I replied as we parted ways.

So, there is a itsy bitsy, tiny little piece of the story to give you sense of what it will be like. At the moment, I think I might have some more to add to the story, so this post is probably going to end soon.

 Yep, this blogging thing is too distracting while I am trying to write a story. Not to mention, I lack anything else to talk about. Goodbye for now!

Love,
Elizabeth W.

The Boredom Sets In... And The Thinking Begins!

Well, I am very much bored out of my mind today. At least right now. I have nothing to do this period as far as school work. By the way, we have a total of 210 views this month so far. That means there are only 90 more views to get by next week if you want the fanfic to be posted. Honestly, that is not very much. I think I might change the total to 500 or something like that. I am averaging about 20 views a day at the moment. I looked and as a running total from the beginning to this exact moment, my blog has 2012 views. I thought it was cool because it was the year. I guess I'm better at entertaining people through blogging than I thought.

As far as YouTube videos, I need to stop making promises that I can't keep. I did not get to make any videos yesterday because I spend that time helping my grandma pack presents for kids in New Mexico and painting Christmas pictures with my mom. My grandparents left for New Mexico today. I'm praying that they make it there and back safely and get the chance to minister to many people along the way. I wish I could go out and minister to people that I don't know. I stink at people in my area because I'm so afraid that they will judge me more harshly. But people in my area need Jesus too.

Yesterday I watched a music video for Britt Nicole's "The Lost Get Found". The whole concept was that she went on this roadtrip, basically heading out into the great unknown, driving in no particular direction. She prayed that God would put people in her path that needed to hear about Jesus. The video showed some of the people that she ministered to, and you could tell that lives were touched.

I thought it was a really cool idea. I just don't know that I have the guts to do something like that. I am a very shy person. Some people I try really hard to be an example for and minister to, but they just see me as a quiet girl who decided to stick her nose in their business. They won't really listen. And I'm always afraid that I'll say the wrong thing. This, coming from the girl who speaks her mind about everything, regardless of who it offends. I need to just get out of my comfort zone and start reaching people. I said it myself this summer at youth camp, I feel like this is the point in my life where I am ready to go out and start reaching people for Christ. I don't want to just sit around and do nothing when I have been called by God.

A very similar thing that I saw on the internet that has inspired me is Isaac Dietz's "Search For Joy". Basically, he went to places like Africa and searched out real joy that existed and thrived even though people were in poverty, the joy of knowing Jesus Christ. I can only imagine how many people were reached for Christ through these two projects.

I feel like I have the ability to minister to people, just the inability to find the people that need to be ministered to. I have thought about using my YouTube channel to help spread the good news of Jesus Christ, but I am not sure exactly how to do it. I feel like I have done it some through this blog, but I want to use all of the resources I have. Video making is one of my strong points. I have that talent. I guess I could start making Christian music videos. It couldn't hurt.

I feel like I should plan my own project like this, I just don't want to copy anyone. I like the "Search For Joy" idea a lot though. I might take it and put my own spin on it. I will do it in my area, of course. Right now would be the perfect time to start it, because everyone is focused on Christmas and how presents will make them happy. I could interview people at different events that I go to. Church. Plays. Stores. Neighbors. I really wish that I had a better camera to do this with. One that I could adjust the focus on, because my camera doesn't always focus right. Maybe I could film it with my cell phone. That way, I could kinda adjust the focus. It would still be decent quality video. Charity Functions. Parties. Band Concerts. Family Gatherings. I could just interview them and ask them a few questions.

What do you think the real reason for Christmas is?
What part of Christmas is most important?
Why do you, personally, celebrate Christmas?
Does Christmas time make you feel happy or stressed?
What do you wish Christmas time was more like?
What is your favorite part of Christmas?

I think this could really work. If you have a question that you think I should ask, please leave it in the comment area. Don't forget to comment and say which fanfic you want posted next friday also.

Oh! I almost forgot! Today is the day that our play is performed. I am the director for tonight's show. The show starts at 6 I think. I have to be there at 5, which makes me unhappy, and I will probably have to stay until 8 or 9. The cost of admission is $3 per person, if you plan on coming. There will also be a silent auction during intermission. The first play (mine) is Amber Waves, then there will be an intermission, then the plays The Quiet Place and Do Not Go Gentle will perform. The performances will take place in the middle school auditorium. If you live in the area, feel free to come.

Well, that is enough talking for today. Woah, there is still 20 minutes left of class. Wierd.

Love,
Elizabeth W.

Finding Something To Do...

So... I officially have nothing left to do for my dual credit class this semester. My next one starts january 14th. I am so happy that it is over. I am just working on finding something to do for this last week and a half.

Driving home tonight

I didn't see the lights

I was just watching you sleep in shotgun

I could have crashed the car

Ha, just a little Hellogoodbye that I thought was appropriate. Because, you know, the name of the song is "Finding Something to Do"... Get it? Yeah, it was kinda lame. Sorry. Today I managed to remember to bring my notebook with me to school, so I started writing the FF5 fanfic. I know, I'm such a nerd. And a hipster. I don't like the idea of being a hipster though. Don't call me that. EVER. Feel free to call me a nerd though. I take it as a complement.

I have nothing to do after school today, so I might upload a few YouTube videos. I hope I get to. If I go home and immediately do some chores (make my bed, wash some clothes, wash some dishes, clean the house) for about an hour, I will still have plenty of time to make some videos, and I will be on my parents' good sides. I wore a Christmas shirt today, so it would be perfect for me to make Christmas covers when I get home. I might even have time to start making the Christmas presents I have planned for my friends. I really need to do that before school ends.

At the moment, we have a total of 187 views for this month. A lot of progress was made yesterday. I guess you all really want me to post a fanfic. Maybe. Or it could have just been a coincidence. Just remember that there has to be at least one person comment and say which story they want me to post. I won't choose on my own. Keep up the good work people!

Yesterday, I had to make a fake newsletter for computer class. I didn't get to finish it. We had a bunch of requirements of things we had to have, but we could make it over anything. Being the kind of person I am, I decided to do mine as a newsletter to my fans as if I was an internet celebrity. It never fails, give me free creative reign over something and it will turn out to relate to the internet somehow.
I really hope Family Force 5  decides to shoot a new music video soon, involving fans like Zombie, Wobble, and Cray Button. I didn't get to go to any of those, and I would love to go to the next one they do. I dream of working with Isaac Deitz and Family Force 5. I heard that they are working on a new album called "Phenomenon". They occasionally release songs for free on NGEN radio's website. They've released two so far: Chainsaw and Phenomenon. Then, on Facebook and whatnot, they rumored and new music video being planned. I am super excited.

I reallly don't know what else to blog about right now. I just want school to be over. And for Christmas to come. And for the plays that I am in to be over.

Tomorrow and Friday are the performances of Amber Waves. Tomorrow the group that I directed performs and the next day the group that I am in performs. I just want it to be over with. I know we will do decently, but I don't know that it will be the best performance ever.

We had one act practice yesterday. The play we picked is really wierd, but I'm excited about it anyway. I love one act because everyone is serious and you get more time to work on the play. There is still 25 minutes left of class. Ugh. Well, I'm off to go stalk some other blogs and waste time, since I am obviously braindead right now.

Love,
Elizabeth W.

I WANT IT!!!

Right now, there are several things that I really want. For lack of anything else to do, I shall list them now.

1. To pass my Final Exam for dual credit psychology with flying colors when I take it later today...
2. To finish making Christmas presents for all of my friends...
3. To find the time to post new videos on YouTube...
4. To know who my secret santa is in Spanish class...
5. To watch more Doctor Who...
6. To have red hair...

I really want these things. Really badly. REALLY REALLY BADLY!

I want to do really well on my final exam because I have to make an 85 (i think) in the class to get high school credit. I think its stupid that you could get college credit and not high school credit, but whatever. I have made hundreds on all of the daily assignments and a 97 on the project. I made the grades of 81, 84, 74, and 76 on the other four tests in the class. I have reviewed some and I will be able to have the book right there with me. I'm just scared. This is the closest I've ever come to not getting an A in a class for a final grade. There is some kind of ten or twenty point grade curve in the transition to the school's gradebook, so maybe I can still do fantastic.

I plan to make Christmas presents for all of my friends, I just have to get around to doing it. I have to make them and have them ready before the end of next week. I better get on that.

I want so badly to post more Uke covers and music videos on YouTube, but I can't seem to find the time. I do know that my Zombie music video will come out at the end of this month or the beginning of January. I plan to edit over Christmas break.

My spanish class did a secret santa thing. I just want to know who got my name. I have to wait til the end of school to find out though. I have no patience.

I really love doctor who. I got to watch The Christmas Invasion last night, the first episode of season two with David Tennant. I still love the 9th doctor though.

I want red hair like Meekakitty and Ariana Grande, but I still have to take senior pictures and prom pictures. Therefore, I must wait until summer to dye my hair. I want to do the 40 day stuff so I can still donate my hair again.

Love you all!
Elizabeth W.

A Christmas-y Bloggity Blog Blog...

Yesterday, I got to go out and see a bunch of houses decorated for Christmas, along with several other women from my church. We went to three houses, a church, and an event center. I drank so much wassel, its unbelievable. And everyone has a different kind. My favorite was some that had pineapple and cranberry juices in it. I at so many cookies also. There were so many different kinds of chocolate chip and sugar cookies and whatnot. After we had been to all of the locations, we went into McDonalds and got food. I had a peppermint mocha coffee, which was delicious, and some fries.

Then, we went to something called "The Christmas Ranch", or at least that's what everyone around here calls it. Basically, it is a giant drive through of Christmas lights. There was a giant red reindeer and a waterfall with fish. There was a merry go round that told the story of the nutcracker and a ferris wheel with stuffed animals. Every year, they add something new, and this year it was about 5 or 6 peacock decorations. They looked like little peacocks made out of christmas lights and wire. There are certain dates that Santa visits the Christmas ranch, so you can stop by to get your picture taken and give him your list. I think we might stop by on one of those days just so my little brother can see Santa.

I think the most fantastic part of the whole ordeal was the chance to talk to eachother about anything and everything. We told stories and Christmas memories. We laughed so much and at times came close to crying. It was just awesome to be able to freely fellowship with a bunch of fun people. We didn't HAVE to talk about church or worry about making sure everything was done the proper way. We did the same thing last year. I hope that we get to do it next year too.

Today I get to go to a similar gathering. After school, everyone will meet at the house of our former sunday school teacher. Then, all of us girls (it was a teenage girl sunday school class) will go out and set these signs that have scriptures on them. We have done this twice before, I think. Once we get back, we'll have Chick-fil-A and decorate Christmas cookies. I know there will be a ton of laughter and fun, as always.

I love those kinds of settings for fellowship. Its so comfortable and everybody knows eachother well enough to open up. You don't have to worry about being judged for what you say and you feel right at home. I wish I could go to things like that more often. Its those kinds of gatherings that make friendships become stronger.

I have come up with a couple more ideas for t-shirts. I plan to make some special ones for Christmas gifts. My friend, Sarah, gave me the idea yesterday during the Christmas home tour thing. Take a shirt for each person and put a certain word that describes them on it. My only problem will be coming up with the words and making sure that I don't waste supplies. I think I can probably do two or three words on the screen at once, then just not put in through the words that are not for whatever shirt I'm doing. Or, just put tape over those parts temporarily.

Question of the day:

What is your favorite Christmas memory?

Love,

Elizabeth W.

Screen Printing Success...

So, yesterday, when I got home, I started working on screen  printing immediately. And, though it took a lot of hard work, I was able to finish the t-shirts for myself and my brother. I actually got out the sewing machine and modified mine, since I refuse to wear a giant, loose t-shirt. I basically just made it fitted. The thing was, I didn't use a pattern or pinning or anything. I completely freestyled it. I got to wear it to school today also. My brother refused to wear his because he said it was "too loose" but I think he just didn't want to match me.

Today I get to go out after school and do Christmas-y things. My mom, some friends, and I are going to go to our town's Christmas house touring thing. There are supposed to be like 5 stops, fewer than there were last year, but I'm still excited. Last year, they had wassail at one of the houses to drink. It was like hot apple cider. Strange, but good. I wonder what culinary oddities there will be this year. The Christmas decorations are all rather fancy too. Last year there was a whole mini Christmas town set up in one house. Another (I think it was the house of the mayor or something) had a guy dressed as Santa sitting in a sleigh outside and a person playing Christmas songs on the piano in the sitting room.

Right now I am in the middle of writing a poem. I watched these videos the other day on YouTube that were basically these long poems that rhymed, talking about Jesus and faith. One of them was titled "Why I love Jesus, but hate religion", in case you want to look it up, which I do recommend. Anyway, I started thinking about how it wouldn't be that hard to write a similar style poem since I already know how to write song lyrics. So, after I was done with my work in second period, I started writing it.

Here's an excerpt:

You say I'm strange,

but have you looked at yourself lately?

Living life for drugs

Searching out sex

Can't go a week without being in a relationship.

But I'm still the strange one

I still believe God's there

Still say Jesus saves

Won't give in and say "Happy Holidays"

I say I'm strange because thats how God made me

Told me "don't follow the trends"

After he saved me...

I think I may make it into a YouTube video eventually. I based it on those strange looks I get in the hallway and the comments I get about being different and reacting differently than others. I had a run-in with a guy the other day who basically was scoffing at my reaction to a friend in discussing how excited we were over the gifts we were getting eachother. He basically was stating that we were being strangely overdramatic and just too wierd. It bothered me a lot then, and it still does bother me a little.

The closemindedness of some people just astounds me. I can't believe how stupid they are in saying "my beliefs and my actions are the only ones that I can accept". People think that a teenager reading fairytales is wrong and that making your own clothes is a strange idea. They're all just robots, following what the world says. I know that God will love me no matter what, and so will my family. I think the world should be minding it's own business instead of telling me what to think, how to act, and what to look like.

I am not a robot

I am not a clone

You are not my puppetteer

And I am not a drone

I got a new master and I follow him alone

I want a good life 'til I'm gone...

I won't say that I've always been this way or that I don't occasionallly follow a trend in some way, shape, or form. I just try not to do it to impress other people. I know that I am an individual and that God put me here to be a person who others notice has something different. If I can show the non-believers that I am different simply by dressing and acting like I do, I will. I don't want to dress like I'm trying to get the attention or a boy, because I know that I will only attract bad attention. I don't care about having a Coach or Gucchi purse, I just want to have something that fits my personal style. I also feel that the way I dress and act reveals the childlike Joy that God has put in my heart. I have never wanted to "grow up" exactly. I just wanted to stay me, even as I got older.

When I was in about the fourth grade, I wrote a letter to my future self as an assignment in class. Everyone did it. I can't remember everything that I put in there, but I remember stating that I hope my future self doesn't do drugs or anything bad like that. I want to be that person, the person that I know my younger self would be proud of. My younger self didn't care what other people thought, and she wasn't mean or involved in drama. She was imaginative and smart, the way I strive to be today. It just makes me sad that I have no way of going back and seeing what exactly I was like back then, I can only rely on my memories. Darn it, why can't a tardis appear out of nowhere so that I can go back and see...

If you can't tell, I've started watching Doctor Who recently on Netflix. I'm still watching the last few episodes of the 9th doctor. I can't wait to watch more.

Well, ta ta for now.

Love,

Elizabeth W.

Ukulele Day #1

So, today I brought my ukulele to school. Yes, I have a ukulele. Yes, I play it quite frequently. Yes, I only got it about two months ago. Technically, the one that I play on is my brother's, but mine is more of a toy and his is an authentic instrument. So, I brought my brother's ukulele to school today because I wanted to use it for senior pictures.

I was relly impressed at how well they handled someone bringing such an odd instrument in as a prop. I can't wait to see how the pictures turn out. They're supposed to mail the proofs within three weeks. I can't wait.

But I think its amazing how much of a conversation starter a ukulele is. I mean, you simply walk in with it and you're bombarded with questions of "Is that a ukulele?" "Do you know how to play?" "Can I try?" "Will you play it for me?"... Its so crazy. And for someone who doesn't work well with random conversations, its really strange and almost scary. I almost dread it. However, I do enjoy the fact that people notice. I guess I could start saying, okay, I'll play you one song, but you can go to my youtube channel and watch a ton of others.

A ukulele is also rather cumbersome to carry around all day. If I didn't have a backpack, a jacket, and a stack of books to lug around all the time, it wouldn't be so bad. If my brother hadn't lost the case, it wouldn't be so bad either. I have to carry it around by the neck because he lost the case that slips over it and has a handle.

Today, I have to stay for extra time after school because my parents (both are teachers) have a meeting after school. I guess at least I will have something to work on and entertain myself with.

I have been learning several Christmas songs to put on Youtube and play at family gatherings, but I have found no time to make videos. I hope that I will have a little time today, that way I can make one or two. I really enjoy making the videos with my dad's webcam instead of my cell phone camera. It takes better quality video and is more predictable. Hopefully I can manage to do some videos sometime this week. If not, I may have to wait until Christmas break.

Well, its almost time for me to go... You know what that means!

Question of the post:

If you could hear any song played on the ukulele, what song would it be?



Well, I have to go make t-shirt designs and then review for a history test.

See you tomorrow!

Elizabeth W.

(Bring in the dancing lobsters!)

Early Christmas Present!

So, my uncle gave me some money on thanksgiving, and told me that I could buy whatever I want, and that would be my Christmas present from him. Well, this weekend, I went shopping with my mother and ended up spending that money. The cool part is what I got.

My favorite thing that I bought was the materials to start screen-printing my own t-shirts. I got an actual screen printing screen, along with a squeegee/scraper thing. Then, I got all of the different filler and drawing inks along with some paint, and the cleaning solultion for cleaning the screen. I got a small sketchbook also, so I can sketch out my shirt ideas before I actually make them.

I think the first thing that I will screen print is a shirt with my new youtube logo on it. I haven't officially released it on the internet, but it is basically an image form of my username. I think I will make a couple, that way I can give one or two away or sell them. I now know why screen printed shirts are so expensive, however. In charging $20 dollars each, I would only be making about $8 or so profit. Thats not a lot. Once I get going, though, I can take orders and do specialty shirts.

A while back, my spanish 3 and 4 class discussed ordering screen-printed tshirts. We haven't done it yet to my knowledge. If I can get a design drawn out, and everyone to bring about ten dollars, I can buy a shirt for each person and make them. At Walmart, colored shirts are about three or four dollars each, plus I have to pay for the paints and the effort put into them. I might be able to get the people in my class to get together and make them with me. That way, I won't be making ten or fifteen shirts on my own. We could do an assembly line type thing. It would work best if the design was only one color, though. I don't want to have to line up the screen again to put more paint on the shirt. I'll need to experiment with my own designs and figure out how it all works first.

This could be such a great money saving and money making tool. I just have to get good at it. It doesn't seem that complicated. I will probably need to get more tshirts to screen print on, so I might do that with any money I get for Christmas. But think about it. Lets say I make shirts. All of them with different things on them. They cost $5 for each shirt and $5 for the paints. I charge a little for the time I put into it and the use of my equipment. I easily make $5 to $10 dollars profit. Of course, much of this will go to pay for maintenence of the equipment. Sometimes you need new screens or more of them. More solution to clean them with or more drawing and filling inks. New paintbrushes. Plus, I will need to be saving up money for college. I can't just go out and spend it all willy-nilly. Is that how you spell that?

Anyway, I got some clothes this weekend also. I got this bright red jacket and a frilly white tank to wear when I take senior pictures, AKA tomorrow. I got a blue infinity scarf too. I got all of this from a store called Maurices. Its a clothing store for women, but the sizes range from Juniors size zero to a womens extra extra large. I like it because both my mom and I can shop there for clothes and shoes and accessories. I almost got my mom to buy me some boots too, but there weren't any cute ones in my size.

Two random items that I purchased this weekend are a unicorn backpack and a book called "The Action Bible". I got the unicorn backpack from Michaels for ten dollars. It literally looks like a stuffed unicorn. I wanted to use it at school today, but I can't fit my headphones in it, so I'll probably use it like next week or something. The Action Bible is basically the comic book form of the bible. It takes all of the bible stories and puts them in chronological order with colorful illustrations and speech bubbles and boxes like a comic book. I think its pretty awesome.

Well, time to wrap things up. Its almost time to go to my next class.

Question of the day:

If you could have a t-shirt that said anything or had any image on it, what would be on it?



Love,

Elizabeth W.

Fortune Cookie Questions

I think its strange that there are some things in history that no one can officially document or prove. Like, I was reading a book today (The Bar Code Rebellion by Suzanne Weyn) and it said something about a guy who invented the fortune cookie, David Jung. So, I looked it up to see if this was a real fact.

David Jung is one of the ones who claims to have invented the fortune cookie, however, there are like five other people who claim the same thing. Were there no witnesses? Who should we believe? In the book, it says that David Jung used the fortune cookies as a method to give bible verses and hope to the homeless in his area. As a christian, I like to believe this story, because I feel that fortune cookies would be an effective way to do such a thing. I am also against the ideas that buddhism or taoism or some other asian religion were the inspiration for such a food.

Something that bothers me about fortune cookies and other fortune-telling devices is when people take them so seriously. Even some Christians believe in them. It says in the bible, “Do not turn to mediums or necromancers; do not seek them out, and so make yourselves unclean by them: I am the Lord your God." (Leviticus 19:31) Are not those who write horoscopes or fortunes acting as mediums? Did not the mediums and fortune-tellers of the new testament have demons that were driven out by Jesus and his apostles, thereby taking away their fortune-telling abilities?

People should be more careful as to what they believe in and trust in.

Back to the fortune cookie story of David Jung. I was thinking about how fortune cookies were used in order to give the scripture to people who might not have access to it. Then I thought, why can't I do something similar and get the scripture and the message of the bible out to people who might never open a bible or step into a church otherwise?

Last school year, around valentines day, there was a thing that went on, started by a local Christian radio station. People would take post-it notes and write short sayings of encouragement or bible verses on them. Then, they would take and stick them on walls or lockers or mirrors or wherever people might see them. I heard so many stories about people whose days were improved, just by those post-it notes. The administrators got mad and started taking them off of the walls, saying that things could not be put on the walls without permission. All it did was inspire more post-it notes to be put up.

I have thought many times about going through the FCA group to do such a thing again at random times of the year. We could impact peoples lives in such a big way. And we wouldn't have to just put them in the school, we could put them in our homes and our local businesses. Anywhere where people wouldn't expect them. That way, we could anonymously spread the love of Christ, giving the glory to him and not us. Letting him use the post-it notes in whatever way that he wanted, letting the right people see them.

And thus begins the Post-it project. All I need to do now is get some post-its and bring them to FCA next week. I also have to write the lesson for next week. I planned on doing the message of salvation, but I wanted to invite a bunch of people who may or may not be Christians. I guess I could text Shelby and other people and ask them to invite people to FCA. Now, do I want to do the post-it project this week or the next time I teach? Well, I feel like it should be done before Christmas. However, I'm not sure when I can get the post-its and if I will be able to give them out in FCA if we have invited people there... Would that make it awkward for them? I'm conflicted. I guess if I remember to invite people and to bring the post-it notes, I'll do both in one week.

Thanks for reading my blabberings.

Love,
Elizabeth W.

Frustrations! But Christmas parties are coming!

So, as far as scholarships go right now, I am not a winner. I have applied to at least 100 scholarships online, and I have not gotten word back from any of them. I check their websites and I am not listed in the winners for thost that have posted results. I'm not the only one to have this problem either, all of my friends say the same thing has happened to them. I had someone tell me that institutional and essay scholarships are your best bet for winning, so I guess I should start applying for more of those. I just hate when you have to print things out and mail them off.

I really want to get some scholarships so that I can go to the uniersity that I want to go to. My parents don't have enough money to send me there and pay for everything I need.

I am also very frustrated with the website of the school I applied to and plan on going to. There is a way to log on and find out if your application has been processed and accepted yet. I haven't gotten an acceptance letter in the mail yet, but I check every day. I should be accepted, since I am ranked fourth in my class. But I cannot log on to the website because I cannot remember my username! Ugh!

I am happy and excited, however, for next weekend. On Friday, I have a get-together to go to with the girls from my church. Its with our sunday school leader from a while back. We're gonna have food and cookie decorating and a bunch of fun stuff and fellowship. Then, on saturday, there is a cookie exchange at my friend's house which I hope to get to go to. I've never been to a cookie exchange, but it should be fun. Then, on the last day of school (the 21st of December) my spanish class is having a gift exchange. We did a secret santa thing this year. It should all be really fun and Christmas-y.

Something that really bothers me about Christmas time is people who say "Happy Holidays" instead of Merry Christmas. Oh, I can't offend anyone if I say Happy Holidays. Who cares if you offend anyone!? Do you really think it would hurt people's feelings if you told them happy birthday when it wasn't their birthday? And if it really offends them that much that you told them indirectly that you are a Christian  and believe in celebrating Christian holidays, then tell them," PUT YO BIG GIRL PANTIES ON AND DEAL WITH IT!" People are soooooooooo afraid to step on anyone's toes. I think that sometimes toes need to be stepped on, especially when they were purposely put underneath the foot!

Filth.
Garbage.
Lies.

Christ died on the cross and roes from the dead three days later all to pay for your sins, buddy. If you think that he wouldn't want you to celebrate his birthday just because some Bhuddist thought differently, you're wrong. Merry CHRISTmas, and to all a good night.

Question of the day:

Do you get offended when people say Merry Christmas, or when they say Happy Holidays?

Love,

Elizabeth W.

Scarred for life... Maybe

This morning, I had an embarrassing experience that I think might have scarred me for life. I certainly won't forget it anytime soon, nonetheless. I was just sitting at a table during breakfast time at school, minding my own business. Suddenly, one of my friends appears and starts up a conversation. We discuss various things, such as why we are tired, how much sleep we have lost, and dreams we have had recently. Then, as I was explaining a dream that I had the other day, a person who had joined us at the table commented that a word that I had used could be interpreted to mean something sexual. Then, my friend joined in and stated that I could very well be meaning these rude and perverted things. Then, they laughed at me, despite my refusals that I did NOT mean such things. Finally, I got up and stated that I was going to FCA, since the time had just come, and promptly left the table, clinging to what was left of my dignity.

I find that things like this are occurring more often. These are more than just bathroom jokes, they are rude, perverted comments that really bother me. Why does the world have to be so uncivilized?!?! I shouldn't have to re-think everything that I am going to say so that people don't make perverted jokes out of my statements.

On a much happier note, FCA was very enjoyable this morning. My friend, Shelby, who teaches FCA every other week, taught the lesson this morning. Then, our sponsor brought up the fact that people wanted to do a Christmas food drive. All I can say is that God's timing is absolutely perfect.

I had planned on doing a toy drive type thing through FCA for the Christmas gifts that our church does for underprivileged Navajo children in New Mexico. However, I was told by the person that organizes said operation that this year there would be no need to collect via the school due to time constraints and whatnot. I had just discussed this with Shelby before FCA began, and we were wondering what kind of drive we could do to get people involved in helping others around Christmas time. Then, as if answering a prayer, our sponsor brought up the food drive idea.

I have no real specifics yet as far as deadlines. All I can say is that (for those who go to the same school) we will be collecting the food most likely during second period and there will probably be a prize for the class who collects the most. This should start next week some time.

I think that people aren't always creative enough when they donate food for food drives. Yes, the food needs to be non-perishable, but it doesn't ALL have to be canned corn. Think of things that you yourself might eat.
Corn
Beans
Peas
Fruit
Ramen noodles
chili
soup
all of thees things would be perfect. Remember that just because people don't have the ability to purchase food for themselves doesn't mean that they don't have taste buds. Buy for them as if you were buying for yourself or a friend. True, the other things are good to give, but don't limit yourself. Personally, I plan to dig into my personal stock of ramen noodles in order to donate. Nonetheless, give from your heart, and may the odds be ever in your class's favor.

I think I've figured out my problem of spiritual lackingness. I think I have simply been relying too heavily on the leadership of other people in my faith. Humans make mistakes and get distracted. I need to focus less on the human factor and more on the God factor. Pastors and Sunday School Teachers are just people, and people make mistakes. God, however, does everything for a reason, and does it with perfect timing. I need to focus more on the master of creation than the creation itself. He has obviously put me here for a purpose, I just need to find it and work with it. I now that I will never see the big picture as to what God plans for me, but I can at least take what I have and do something with it.

God created me as a teacher and a person whose heart breaks for children and those in need. In which case, it is time for me to further my actions in these areas of ministry. I teach in FCA and I volunteer in Children's Church every few Sundays, but I need to be doing more, it seems. I have a dream of using my talents to touch the lives of people around the world. I think film making might be the road that God is leading me down in order to accomplish this. I think I want to start showing God through the videos I put on YouTube, I'm just not sure how yet. I know this is an important part of my spiritual journey, a kind of discovering who I am and how God wants to use me. I just have to start by letting him use me.

Question of the day:

What Charitable giving, if any, do you plan to do this Christmas season?

Ta Ta For Now!

Love,

Elizabeth W.

Procrastination? Ehhh... I'll do it tomorrow.

Lately, I have become the queen of procrastination. Its not that I don't want to do things, its just that I don't want to do them right now. Eventually, that right now turns into a two weeks later and I have to hurry and finish things before there are consequences.

One of the things that I wish I could procrastinate on right now is theatre. Our class play, which I have been co-directing with another student, was originally scheduled to happen this thursday and friday. However, we are very far from being ready. We put off the performance until the week after next, but I'm still very nervous. There are so many actors who don't know their lines and lack the ability to improv, and its driving me crazy!

Last year, I was in One Act Play, basically the part of drama where the really deticated theatre kids get to work together and show their stuff. I really loved it. We practiced what seemed like a billion hours and we didn't advance when we went to contest, but we still did an amazing job. There was no improvising of lines because we all knew them by heart. We had to. And we all were deticated to making it awesome because we had invested so much of our time.

Then, we get back to the world of the semi-deticated drama kids. They don't find it necesary to memorize their lines or know the scenes well enough to improvise. It really bothers me. And I'm afraid that if the play simply flops that everyone will blame it on the student directors. After all, this is the first time we've ever had student directors that I know of. Hopefully everyone will pull together so that we can perform and get it over with. I guess procrastination is really bad in theatre, especially in learning lines.

I have also been very confused about where I am spiritually right now. It seems that I was riding on a spiritual high all summer and for the past couple of months. I have just run out of steam. I think maybe I need a kind of personal revival. I still have faith and whatnot, I just don't feel as alive anymore. Its as if the fire that I had in me is about to go out, and I need to stir it up again. I love the feeling of a spiritual high and I want to get back to that place again, but I don't know how. Youth camp only happens in the summer.

Maybe I just need a break from the normal things I do. I just need to get out there and find a cause that will get me motivated. It seems that everything in my life that should bring me up spiritually is just in turmoil right now. It says in the bible, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened, ask and it will be given to you. Right now, I'm asking, but I just can't get my voice heard. I'm knocking, but the door isn't there. I want to be back to that point where I was before in my relationship with Christ.

I feel like maybe there are so many things going on in my life right now that God is getting choked out. And I've been trying to teach my peers about Christ and being a Christian, when I need to be taught a little myself. I can't seem to find what I need at my church, at least not right now. The lessons in sunday school don't touch my soul like ones I've had before, and the sermons just seem like words. I need to find a new passion for Christ, and you would think it wouldn't be that hard during the Christmas season. But I feel like the world is the only thing celebratingChristmas right now, not the church.

Its almost like I'm backsliding. I hate when that happens. Its scary because you think, will I ever climb back up the mountain again? Is this the highest I will ever reach? I'm praying that God will fix all of these things that man has messed up. There are so many things that seem to prevent me from growing spiritually anymore. So many things have changed, not all for the better. Maybe I can find something to bring me back to God, whether it be music or a sermon or a concert or an event. Its the Christmas season. My soul should be on fire for God, and I want it to be, I just have to find a way to get there.

By the way, I didn't get to do any Christmas music this last weekend, because a) I haven't learned any and b) I was busy. Please watch the videos I did post though. I should be able to post some this weekend, possibly featuring my little brothers.

I really don't feel like having a question of the day today. Not that anyone answers them anyway.

Sincerely,
Elizabeth W.