Reasons

Today is kind of strange because I'm still trying to figure out how it will work, as I go through it. I missed the Aquatic Science field trip because I have to go to the official rehearsal for the oap contest tomorrow. I also have to have money for my lunch, which I managed to get from my mother about 10 seconds before leaving the car this morning. I didn't get my makeup work yesterday, so I went to get it this morning, but only one teacher was there. The only class I'm worried about is spanish, and I guess I'll go in tomorrow morning and get my work. I just hope she isn't mad.

Today in FCA, shelby discussed something that was mentioned at DNOW last weekend, which I was not able to attend. I found it rather interesting, and I jotted some of the things down for future reference. The subject was how to prove that the bible is true.

The first thing that Shelby mentioned is that the bible was written by over 40 different people over hundreds of years. Some of the people didn't even know eachother. They all quote eachother, showing that they believed what the others said, and nothing conflicts. This is important, because all other religions with sacred texts say that their text was written by only one person at one time, so there is no proof that they were right. They could have made the whole thing up. Not to mention, there were over 6000 manuscripts of the New Testament that have been found, while Homer's Illiad (or maybe it was the odyssey) only has about 600.

Another point was that thousands of archeological digs have found things that are mentioned in the bible. Like, when they found the town that they think was sodom and gomorra (I probably spelled that horribly wrong!) where fire was supposed to have rained down on the city, they could tell from the remains and ashes that the fire had started on the roofs of the building, meaning that it was possible that the fire had come from the sky. They also found the city of Jericho. The walls were found to have fallen outward, in a way that they seem to have been pushed outward from the inside, proving that story true.

Most religions have the concept of a flood story, like that of Noah and the ark, because if there was a big flood, everyone is going to know about it. Some people worked out the math and models and proved that the size and shape of the ark made it virtually unsinkable. However, when they tested the sizes and shapes of the other boats from other flood stories, all of those boats were found to be sinkable. God's perfect boat plans prove that he is almighty.

Lastly, some scientists who didn't believe that man could be made from dirt, as stated in Genesis when God created man from the soil, got together and did some tests. They found that every thing that makes up man can also be found in dirt. Something as complex as a human being came from dirt, but that can only be done via supernatural intervention, AKA: God!

I just can't see how people can disagree with evidence like that.

Love,
Elizabeth W.

Broken

The time when we are closest to God is when we are broken.
When we have give up all other hope
Exhausted all resources
Lost our way
When the world has broken our hearts
Taken away what we love
Left us with nothing but scars
Piled too much on our shoulders
We are closest to God in those moments when
There
Is
Nothing
Left.
We cry out to him
"Lord, save me!"
We recognize that these hurts
These trials
This flesh
Is only temporary
Can be healed
By none other than God.
He takes the mess that is our lives
The broken pieces of our hearts
And mends them
Heals them
Saves them.
When life has just been going on too long
And we feel like we just can't make it any further
He carries us
Until we can walk.

Today is a very sad day. Today there is a funeral for a person that God has taken to live in his kindgom, even though it seems to early through the eyes of man. A two month old child has gone to live with her father in heaven, while her earthly parents are left to grieve and their friends attempt to console them at the funeral.

Many people that I know have gone through similar things. It is hard to lose a child no matter what age they are. It always seems too early. But the important thing to think about is that you will get to see them again someday. And when the days feel like they weigh you down too much, the best thing is just to cry out to Jesus, the healer and comforter.

I know that the couple will have a hard time. I have not lost a child, but I lost my uncle when I was a child. Very few days go by without the thought that he is up in heaven, watching over me, but he seems so far away. I know that the pain is real and no one will ever seem to know exactly how it feels. But God knows. And he can help you through.

Crystal and Dylan, I know that God has great plans for you and that everything happens for a reason. I know that the pain is great now, and that it always will be. But life can't be lived only for the past. Ecclesiastes 3:4 states, there is a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance. I know that it may seem hopeless right now, but I guarantee that there is a bright future for you two. Though the sorrows may last for the night, the joy comes with the morning. I hope that you two keep going and rely on the Lord to help you through.

As to anyone else who might be going through something similar, I give you the same advice and push you to keep going, no matter how hard it gets. When you find yourself face down on the floor cryiing out, the Lord will be there to pick you up and hold you until the storm passes, or at least slows to a drizzle.

Anyone else, I encourage you to keep these people in your prayers and I will post something more joyful tomorrow. Have a beautiful day, and DFTBA.

Love,
Elizabeth W.

It Always Happens...

375... I am metaphorically applauding you all right now. Good job, you only have 125 more to go before Friday.

So, today I recieved my first Christmas present of the year. My friend, Emily, gave it to me this morning as soon as I got to school. I really wasn't expecting it. It was a Christmas-y Sock Monkey (Another one for the collection!), some watercolor colored pencils and some dark chocolate hersheys kisses.

The only thing I worry about around this time is when people get me presents when I don't get them anything. I have to go home today and make three gifts. I have one person that got me something that I didn't plan for, and two people who might get me something, but I'm not sure about. I would like to give them gifts either way. One person is the person who I'm doing secret santa for in spanish class. I think I will just make her something small to go along with that. Technically, we are supposed to have a $20 limit on the secret santa gift, but I think I went a few dollars over. No biggie. Hopefully I have time to make some duct tape wallets before Friday.

Today, when I go home, I have to immediately get started on my Spanish project. Its due tommorrow, and I didn't get to work on it at all yesterday. I have to film four or five 30 second segments, then upload all of the video parts to the computer. After that, I have to try and convince my mom to buy a $15 upgrade/mod to Windows Movie Maker, so that I will have access to some editing effects that are actually useful. I have to edit and transfer the video to a DVD before the end of the day. Tommorow, the project is due. I am very nevous about how it will turn out, seeing as it was such short notice. I may end up staying up until like 10 or 11 tonight.

That means that my gift making for those three people will get pushed off to Thursday night, unless I can speed through the making of the video. But, I have to go to my brother's band concert Thursday night. Maybe I'll have some time between coming home from school and having to go back and see the concert. The concert should be over at around 8 or 9. We will probably go out to eat, so we will get home around 9 or 10. But, his concert won't start until 6 or 7. That means I have from 4:30 to 6 to work on gifts. I know I will make one for sure. I might need to plan out the colors and designs so that I know already what I will do.

On Saturday, I have to go to a family Christmas gathering at a relative's house. I'm not really looking foreward to it. Not only will almost all of the family from my dad's side be there, but also some random people that half of us don't know. I'll just bring my ukulele and my phone to entertain myself, and be ready to talk about what type of job I want to have and what college I plan to go to. Relatives always ask about that stuff. I'll prepare myself to recieve about a thousand random shallow complements and hug random strangers. Ugh. Family gatherings.

I gave a Christmas lesson in FCA today. I basically took the Christmas story and went more into detail, examining what it must have really been like, not just what happened. I mean, I think Mary must have been really afraid when the angel first appeared to her. And when she told Joseph, he must have been really suspicious and almost ashamed. The shepherds must have felt really special to have such a chior of angels gathering above them, singing praises to God. And the Wise men were probably a little confused when they came to the manger and saw the little toddler that was said to be their savior and king. I think its cool too that they brought the three gifts that they did. Gold said he was worthy. Frankincense said that they would worship him. Myrrh said that he would die but come back, saving us all. The way that God put all of the story together is just amazing.

Love,
Elizabeth W.

Scarred for life... Maybe

This morning, I had an embarrassing experience that I think might have scarred me for life. I certainly won't forget it anytime soon, nonetheless. I was just sitting at a table during breakfast time at school, minding my own business. Suddenly, one of my friends appears and starts up a conversation. We discuss various things, such as why we are tired, how much sleep we have lost, and dreams we have had recently. Then, as I was explaining a dream that I had the other day, a person who had joined us at the table commented that a word that I had used could be interpreted to mean something sexual. Then, my friend joined in and stated that I could very well be meaning these rude and perverted things. Then, they laughed at me, despite my refusals that I did NOT mean such things. Finally, I got up and stated that I was going to FCA, since the time had just come, and promptly left the table, clinging to what was left of my dignity.

I find that things like this are occurring more often. These are more than just bathroom jokes, they are rude, perverted comments that really bother me. Why does the world have to be so uncivilized?!?! I shouldn't have to re-think everything that I am going to say so that people don't make perverted jokes out of my statements.

On a much happier note, FCA was very enjoyable this morning. My friend, Shelby, who teaches FCA every other week, taught the lesson this morning. Then, our sponsor brought up the fact that people wanted to do a Christmas food drive. All I can say is that God's timing is absolutely perfect.

I had planned on doing a toy drive type thing through FCA for the Christmas gifts that our church does for underprivileged Navajo children in New Mexico. However, I was told by the person that organizes said operation that this year there would be no need to collect via the school due to time constraints and whatnot. I had just discussed this with Shelby before FCA began, and we were wondering what kind of drive we could do to get people involved in helping others around Christmas time. Then, as if answering a prayer, our sponsor brought up the food drive idea.

I have no real specifics yet as far as deadlines. All I can say is that (for those who go to the same school) we will be collecting the food most likely during second period and there will probably be a prize for the class who collects the most. This should start next week some time.

I think that people aren't always creative enough when they donate food for food drives. Yes, the food needs to be non-perishable, but it doesn't ALL have to be canned corn. Think of things that you yourself might eat.
Corn
Beans
Peas
Fruit
Ramen noodles
chili
soup
all of thees things would be perfect. Remember that just because people don't have the ability to purchase food for themselves doesn't mean that they don't have taste buds. Buy for them as if you were buying for yourself or a friend. True, the other things are good to give, but don't limit yourself. Personally, I plan to dig into my personal stock of ramen noodles in order to donate. Nonetheless, give from your heart, and may the odds be ever in your class's favor.

I think I've figured out my problem of spiritual lackingness. I think I have simply been relying too heavily on the leadership of other people in my faith. Humans make mistakes and get distracted. I need to focus less on the human factor and more on the God factor. Pastors and Sunday School Teachers are just people, and people make mistakes. God, however, does everything for a reason, and does it with perfect timing. I need to focus more on the master of creation than the creation itself. He has obviously put me here for a purpose, I just need to find it and work with it. I now that I will never see the big picture as to what God plans for me, but I can at least take what I have and do something with it.

God created me as a teacher and a person whose heart breaks for children and those in need. In which case, it is time for me to further my actions in these areas of ministry. I teach in FCA and I volunteer in Children's Church every few Sundays, but I need to be doing more, it seems. I have a dream of using my talents to touch the lives of people around the world. I think film making might be the road that God is leading me down in order to accomplish this. I think I want to start showing God through the videos I put on YouTube, I'm just not sure how yet. I know this is an important part of my spiritual journey, a kind of discovering who I am and how God wants to use me. I just have to start by letting him use me.

Question of the day:

What Charitable giving, if any, do you plan to do this Christmas season?

Ta Ta For Now!

Love,

Elizabeth W.

Procrastination? Ehhh... I'll do it tomorrow.

Lately, I have become the queen of procrastination. Its not that I don't want to do things, its just that I don't want to do them right now. Eventually, that right now turns into a two weeks later and I have to hurry and finish things before there are consequences.

One of the things that I wish I could procrastinate on right now is theatre. Our class play, which I have been co-directing with another student, was originally scheduled to happen this thursday and friday. However, we are very far from being ready. We put off the performance until the week after next, but I'm still very nervous. There are so many actors who don't know their lines and lack the ability to improv, and its driving me crazy!

Last year, I was in One Act Play, basically the part of drama where the really deticated theatre kids get to work together and show their stuff. I really loved it. We practiced what seemed like a billion hours and we didn't advance when we went to contest, but we still did an amazing job. There was no improvising of lines because we all knew them by heart. We had to. And we all were deticated to making it awesome because we had invested so much of our time.

Then, we get back to the world of the semi-deticated drama kids. They don't find it necesary to memorize their lines or know the scenes well enough to improvise. It really bothers me. And I'm afraid that if the play simply flops that everyone will blame it on the student directors. After all, this is the first time we've ever had student directors that I know of. Hopefully everyone will pull together so that we can perform and get it over with. I guess procrastination is really bad in theatre, especially in learning lines.

I have also been very confused about where I am spiritually right now. It seems that I was riding on a spiritual high all summer and for the past couple of months. I have just run out of steam. I think maybe I need a kind of personal revival. I still have faith and whatnot, I just don't feel as alive anymore. Its as if the fire that I had in me is about to go out, and I need to stir it up again. I love the feeling of a spiritual high and I want to get back to that place again, but I don't know how. Youth camp only happens in the summer.

Maybe I just need a break from the normal things I do. I just need to get out there and find a cause that will get me motivated. It seems that everything in my life that should bring me up spiritually is just in turmoil right now. It says in the bible, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened, ask and it will be given to you. Right now, I'm asking, but I just can't get my voice heard. I'm knocking, but the door isn't there. I want to be back to that point where I was before in my relationship with Christ.

I feel like maybe there are so many things going on in my life right now that God is getting choked out. And I've been trying to teach my peers about Christ and being a Christian, when I need to be taught a little myself. I can't seem to find what I need at my church, at least not right now. The lessons in sunday school don't touch my soul like ones I've had before, and the sermons just seem like words. I need to find a new passion for Christ, and you would think it wouldn't be that hard during the Christmas season. But I feel like the world is the only thing celebratingChristmas right now, not the church.

Its almost like I'm backsliding. I hate when that happens. Its scary because you think, will I ever climb back up the mountain again? Is this the highest I will ever reach? I'm praying that God will fix all of these things that man has messed up. There are so many things that seem to prevent me from growing spiritually anymore. So many things have changed, not all for the better. Maybe I can find something to bring me back to God, whether it be music or a sermon or a concert or an event. Its the Christmas season. My soul should be on fire for God, and I want it to be, I just have to find a way to get there.

By the way, I didn't get to do any Christmas music this last weekend, because a) I haven't learned any and b) I was busy. Please watch the videos I did post though. I should be able to post some this weekend, possibly featuring my little brothers.

I really don't feel like having a question of the day today. Not that anyone answers them anyway.

Sincerely,
Elizabeth W.