Broken

The time when we are closest to God is when we are broken.
When we have give up all other hope
Exhausted all resources
Lost our way
When the world has broken our hearts
Taken away what we love
Left us with nothing but scars
Piled too much on our shoulders
We are closest to God in those moments when
There
Is
Nothing
Left.
We cry out to him
"Lord, save me!"
We recognize that these hurts
These trials
This flesh
Is only temporary
Can be healed
By none other than God.
He takes the mess that is our lives
The broken pieces of our hearts
And mends them
Heals them
Saves them.
When life has just been going on too long
And we feel like we just can't make it any further
He carries us
Until we can walk.

Today is a very sad day. Today there is a funeral for a person that God has taken to live in his kindgom, even though it seems to early through the eyes of man. A two month old child has gone to live with her father in heaven, while her earthly parents are left to grieve and their friends attempt to console them at the funeral.

Many people that I know have gone through similar things. It is hard to lose a child no matter what age they are. It always seems too early. But the important thing to think about is that you will get to see them again someday. And when the days feel like they weigh you down too much, the best thing is just to cry out to Jesus, the healer and comforter.

I know that the couple will have a hard time. I have not lost a child, but I lost my uncle when I was a child. Very few days go by without the thought that he is up in heaven, watching over me, but he seems so far away. I know that the pain is real and no one will ever seem to know exactly how it feels. But God knows. And he can help you through.

Crystal and Dylan, I know that God has great plans for you and that everything happens for a reason. I know that the pain is great now, and that it always will be. But life can't be lived only for the past. Ecclesiastes 3:4 states, there is a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance. I know that it may seem hopeless right now, but I guarantee that there is a bright future for you two. Though the sorrows may last for the night, the joy comes with the morning. I hope that you two keep going and rely on the Lord to help you through.

As to anyone else who might be going through something similar, I give you the same advice and push you to keep going, no matter how hard it gets. When you find yourself face down on the floor cryiing out, the Lord will be there to pick you up and hold you until the storm passes, or at least slows to a drizzle.

Anyone else, I encourage you to keep these people in your prayers and I will post something more joyful tomorrow. Have a beautiful day, and DFTBA.

Love,
Elizabeth W.

Les Miserables

So, this weekend I watched Les Miserables, the 25th anniversary version with Nick Jonas, all the way through. The plot was so sad, and I felt like it ended really abrupty. Practically everybody dies. Everyone but Marius and Cosette, and Marius came close to dying. I find it weird that Marius and Cosette play rather minor roles compared to Jean Valjean and Javert, but they are the ones who survive the whole tragedy. Either way, I look foreward to seeing the movie version sometime, even if I have to wait until its on DVD, though I really want to see it in the theaters.

I really don't have much to talk about.

Second period, in aquatic science, we got to make fish out of play-doh in order to learn about fish morphology. We did a little bit of learning, but mainly we talked and played with play-doh. I taught everyone that a few drops of water can help bring play-doh that is drying out back to its original consistency. I thought everybody knew that.

All weekend I was distracted by the thought of a certian boy. I got to see and talk to him today, and I cannot wait until fifth period so that I can see him again. I really enjoy spending time with him, but I only have two classes with him. I can see him before and after school though.

I started writing another children's book. This one is more of a fairytale. There is an actual plot and whatnot, but I don't think it is very fantastic. I just felt like doing something yesterday, so that is what I did.

This weekend, I made a TARDIS locker cover. The only problem is that I made is out of posterboard and when I put it on my locker, it was about six inches too short. I guess I'll just have to find something to stick on the bottom. It still looks cool and makes my locker different than everyone else's.

Love,
Elizabeth W.

Strange Happenings

So... Today has been kind of strange so far, and will most likely continue to be strange.

In first period I had to ask my teacher to write a reccomendation letter for a scholarship application. I've never done that before. I didn't know if there was a proper way or if you just ask. But, I just asked and she said okay. I just said I needed it by sometime next week or so. I didn't want to be forceful or make her rush. I have to do the same in seventh period.

When I got into third period (the period I am currently in as I am typing this) I sat down at my computer and it felt different. The keyboard and the mouse are the same. The computer monitor and CPU seem to be the same ones. But it is almost as if it has been reset. The internet icon was missing from the desktop. The background was different. The internet history was cleared. There are no documents. It was perfectly normal yesterday, but today everything is wonky. Our tech ladies (AKA: "The Sisters") probably came in and did something to it. *Involuntary Shivering*

I will leave school early today. My mom is supposed to pick me up around 3 or so in order to take me to an optometrist appointment. I am going to get my eyes checked and then possibly go to get new glasses if there is time. I hope there is time. I want new glasses. I hope to get some similar to the ones I have already, but slightly different. I want what I call "David Tennant" or "Doctor Who" glasses. Basically, black framed glasses that are rectangular shaped. The pair that I have been using is very similar, but the frames are wire instead of plastic and they are slightly rounded. I just hope such glasses fit my face well.

I am super talkative again today. I really don't want to stop typing. I had Green Mountain brand caramel vanilla coffee today. It was so delicious. When you go to brew it in the Keurig machine, it smells like caramel corn.

Yesterday, I worked on my economics homework at school, then spent all of my time at home watching Les Miserables. I hadn't seem it before, so one of my friends is letting me borrow the DVD of like the 25th anniversary performance or whatever. Nick Jonas plays one of the main characters. It is like a three hour show, so I only watched an hour of it yesterday before deciding to stop and continue it later. I got to the intermission. But the story is soooooooooooooooooooo good and very sad. My friends don't really like the part being played by Nick Jonas because he does not act and sing the same as the other people on stage. He lacks the foreign accent and sings in more of a popstar voice than an operetic voice. I like it, even though it is different and takes a couple of minutes to get used to.

I realized yesterday that Nick Jonas is only three years older than me. When I was younger and a really big fan of the Jonas Brothers, I thought that they were all so much older than me. Kevin and Joe are, but Nick really isn't that far off. Technically if we were both normal people, we could meet at college, fall in love, and get married and it be appropriate. NOT that I have daydreams of that sort of thing. I just think about ages and stuff and how old is too old when you are looking at a future spouse. I think having a few years in between you is okay, but any more than 6 or 7 is a little out there.

Then again, I have never actually had a for-real boyfriend or gone on a for-real date. I have never been in for-real love and I was the one with guts who asked a guy to prom last year.

Single. Forever. I'm. Hopeless.

I still have no clue what I will do for prom this year. If no one asks me, which is a very likely thing, I'll probably tag along with my best friends. However, they both have boyfriends who have graduated, so they can either go without a date or have their boyfriends do a background check and bring them anyway. If the second option becomes a reality, I will totally be a third wheel... Well, a fifth one.

I can think of about three guys that I would go to prom with. Maybe five now that I think harder. None of them have girlfriends. However, I doubt any of them would consider asking me. SEE? THIS IS WHY I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN SO UNAFRAID, because guys are too dumb to consider me. They seem me as just a friend and okay being alone. Ugh.

I just hope things change when I go to college. There has to be someone that I look appealing to once I go to college. I have been told before by a guy that I looked pretty, but that when you spend all of your school years associating with someone, you don't seem to be attracted to them in that way.

GREAT. Now I've depressed myself.

I'll just wait anxiously for college and go to prom by myself and keep reminding myself that God has someone out there for me. Whatever.

Love,
Elizabeth W.