March 27, 2014

How To Save A Life

Last night I stayed up until 1:00 am talking with Andrew to distract him. Distract him from himself. Talk about stuff that makes him feel better. Keep him company. And he said he was okay when I said I needed to go to sleep. But I woke this morning to a text that he ended up cutting anyway. And I felt horrible and I wished that I had stayed up and texted him all night. But I know that that was impossible.

My whole life, I've been constantly put into situations where the people who are broken or outcast or whatever need me. And I can't help but be there to help. Because I care too much. And It hurts when I can't help them. The first couple of times this happened, I didn't know what to do. Their brokenness scared me. And I wasn't able to be there when I was needed the most. But at least I was there for some amount of time.

The song "How To Save a Life" by the Fray is a song that I have always related to because I'm afraid that I will have to try and help save someone in the future and I won't know how to.

I wrote a poem the other day right before I went to bed, because that seems to be a really opportune time to think of poems, according to my brain. It may be really terrible, but this is it.

Why is she? by Elizabeth Walker

Why is she friends with the boy with the scars
Up and down his arms
The one who hurts for the hurt of his past
Why would she be 'round the boy who's so sad
And hug him so tight
Then text him all night

Why would she care for the girl who likes both
Boy or girl or in between
She doesn't believe its right
But she's never mean
To the girl whose likes are in between

Why does she stay for the girl without friends
One little fight and she's alone again
Her sarcasm, weirdness, and anger too much to hide
And others with her are never satisfied
But she'd have at least her until she died

Why does she mourn for the ones gone away
They left her with hate
Still she misses their face
Why does this girl care for the ones
Who have nothing to offer
Its only because
Anyone else would walk off and not bother with her

-EW