April 2, 2014

DNOW and Being Shamed

I found out yesterday that I am going to spend this weekend at DNOW. Its a weekend retreat type thing that our church does for kids in the youth group. They stay at the homes of people in the church and spend time doing service projects and learning about being more Christ-like. Its like a mini church camp thing. I'm supposed to be a group leader, which means I get to be kind of like a mentor and friend and role model for these teenage girls that will be in my group. I've never really done anything like this, so I'm kinda scared.

God knows what he's doing though. Maybe I'll learn something or affect someone in a positive way. I feel a bit like Moses being told to go talk to Pharoah. I don't know how to speak well or relate to my audience. I wasn't a normal kid and I'm not perfect. But I'll go if he tells me to go.

My mom did the whole shaming thing yesterday. You know, the one where she asks me what homework I have due today and then segways into how she "wonders when I'll start actually cleaning the house". I hate it. Its not like I don't do anything while I'm at home. I wash clothes every day. Yesterday I spent a long time getting rid of clothes and folding clothes. And I've been washing dishes and cleaning house pretty much every other day. She's never satisfied. And no one else in the house helps except maybe washing a single load of clothes when they need a specific clothing item or taking out the trash once in a while. Heck, I'm practically the only one who takes the dog out. And she always does this right before I'll be going away or doing something that will prevent me from being at home all the time. GAH. I love my mother, she just drives me crazy sometimes.

I have to go rush through homework so that I can wash the sink full of dishes and sweep the floors and clean up the living room and fold all the clothes and shove them into the tiny closets and put up things that have no place to go in the tiny house that we live in . I hate life sometimes.