Room

Yesterday, at about this same time, I finished Les Miserables. It was a good book, but I was glad to finish it. Then, at lunch I went back to the library and got a new book. I was planning on getting "The Statistical Probablility of Love at First Sight", but I saw another book that I got instead. Its called "Room" and its by Emma Donoghue.

Room is about a boy who lives with his mom in this one room building. His mom was kidnapped and put into this room buy the character "Old Nick". She was used sexually by the man, and the boy, Jack is their child. Through a very complicated plan, they manage to escape. And thats as far as I have read. I'm about half way through. I think I might finish it by tomorrow. I think I'll check out another book today, just to make sure I have plenty to read tomorrow.

Tomorrow is one act play competition day. I'm scared and excited at the same time. It feels like there should still be a month's worth of practices left, but we only have today. I just want to get it over with.

I have drama practice today, but I also have to stay after school. I have to be in tutorials to take a quiz that I missed in spanish class. I'll probably have to go to tutorials on monday too, to do what I miss on friday. I just want the week to be over already. Tomorrow will be such a long day.

I really want to get back to reading, because I was at a really intense part.

Love,
Elizabeth W.

Disappeared!

I'm freaking out because things keep disappearing. First, the skirt and slip that I was using for one act play that I DISTINCTLY REMEMBER setting in the dressing room has gone missing. Second, I lost one of my headbands that I wear quite often. Third, one of the group members for the dual credit class project has disappeared from the internet and the online class. Fourth, I have not been able to collaborate with all of the group members for my spanish project and the rough draft is due today.

I'M FREAKING OUT!!!!

I really know that I cannot do anything about these things, but I am really a control freak sometimes and I hate when things like this happen because it throws me off and I get worried and stuff.

Also, today I have one act practice from 4:00 to 6:00, but afterwards, I have to go over to my mom's classroom because she has open house tonight from like 5:30 to 8:00. Therefore, I will be bored to death from 6:00 to 8:00.

GAH!

I guess I will spend time on the blog or reading or working on one of the scripts, and studying my lines for the class play, since I have a lines test tomorrow.

I'm gonna go check the stock market and attempt to calm down. Maybe I shouldn't have had that coffee this morning.

Love,
Elizabeth W.

Moving on up...

I actually wrote an essay with that same title once. Currently, I am 25th of 48 in the stock market game. Whoo. I have changed rankings many many times today. I almost didn't post because the internet was being terribly slow and glitchy.

I feel like there is something that I should be doing, but I can't think of anything. I should probably study for my spanish test before 7th period, but I think that I'll wait until next period. I always study for spanish then.

There are people around me. I really really don't enjoy this. And they're loud and they keep moving around. AAAA! I am such an introvert.

If you ever meet me in real life, don't crowd me or anything. I really don't enjoy being touched by people or even being around people. I'll probably freak out. And if I don't I'll probably be freaking out on the inside.

Love,
Elizabeth W.

If I could skip the next 45 minutes of my life... Wait, the next two hours...

I am really dreading what I am about to go do.


I am going to talk to the counselor.


DUN DUN DUN!

Okay, so I really shouldn't be that worried, but I really hate confrontation. I hate talking to people who have authority over me. And I really don't care for the counselor lady anyway, since she has been nothing but mean toward me ever since I've known her and she is the least helpful person that I know, even though she should be the most helpful.

I have to go to her office and request 3 official transcripts (that is a really large number in my opinion) and get her to sign a scholarship application. WAIT! I just checked and realized that I really need 4 transcripts. I think I can just fill out a form to request trandscripts, but I have to actually talk to her to get the scholarship form signed. Ugh. I'm about to go. Wish me luck. Hopefully she doesn't eat me.

Love,
Elizabeth W.

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Okay, I just got back. I was down there less than 5 minutes. I requested the transcripts. That was the easy part. But the actual counselor wasn't there. Only her secretary. That means I have to go back in there during lunch to see if I can get the form signed. Maybe they'll have the transcripts ready by then.

I'm scared that they won't have them ready in time though. The person who had requested transcripts before me requested them yesterday and they hadn't been marked off the list yet. Hopefully the secretary can get on the ball and get them done by the end of today. I would love to have all of this scholarship stuff and college complications taken care of before the end of January.

I got new glasses yesterday. They were some that I had ordered online, and they arrived yesterday. All I can say is that if you want to get glasses for cheap, online is the way to go. I'm still not completely adjusted to them though. Occasionally, I get dizzy or my vision seems skewwed. I think that should go away within a day or two though. It scares me when I am walking up and down stairs though, because I feel like I might fall down.

If I can get all of my homework done, I might do a Vlog this weekend. Or maybe a music video. I am really in the mood for a music video. I haven't done one in a while. I will be babysitting my little brothers on saturday, so I might make a video with them. They have never been in any of my music videos that I have uploaded to youtube.

I think I may do both. I just need to find a program to edit with. I want to use PowerDirector again, but I don't have the money :(. 

Oh, and I found out the other day that there is a tardis emoticon for on facebook and stuff.

[[tardis.emoticon]]

I wonder if it works here. Probably not. Whatever.

Love (again),
Elizabeth W.

Random Facts About Me

So... I had this idea yesterday that I would make this blog post about random things that not many people know about me. None of them are super embarrassing. They might have been at one time, but I have since come to accept them as a part of who I am. I don't know why I'm doing this, I just felt like it would be an interesting idea. So... Here we go!

1. I am socially awkward and really quiet, unless I know you really well.
This makes me kind of scared. I was always a very quiet and shy child, but I am not as bad as I once was. Things like Drama and Choir have helped me to some extent. It scares me because I am striving to become someone that is well known and that you would recognize on the street. I just don't know how I will deal with meeting people, since I am really terrible at making conversation. I also am a very good listener, and listen even when I shouldn't so I have the tendency to randomly contribute bits to conversations that I am not a part of. Sometimes I don't even think about how wierd it must be for other people when I butt in. If I know you really well or have an interest in talking about something we have in common, I probably will be able to talk to you a little better. If I was sent on an errand or dread what our conversation might lead to, don't expect me to say much and don't expect me to be very loud. This is why I hate talking to school officials and such.

2. I don't know how to read time very well.
Seriously. I feel like such a dunce when it comes to this. It is like the fact that genius and retardation are so close to eachother on the smartness scale. I literally have come to dread reading time off of a normal clock. All of the clocks in my house are digital and I tend to buy watches that are digital. I never ask people what time it is, I just ask them how much time until whatever event I am concerned about. "How much time of lunch do we have left?" I use that one all the time. I just never got the hang of reading clocks when I was a child because we never went over it much when I was in school. I remember having maybe two lessons about it. So whenever I absolutely have to read a clock, I have to go through the mental process of "the big hand is the... minute hand because the word minute is longer than hour... It is in between these two numbers so this is the hour... The minute is this because... five, ten, fifteen, twenty... So the time all together is this!" When I used to wear a normal watch, people would ask me what time it was and I would just show them my wrist because otherwise it would take me at least 45 seconds, if not longer to figure it out and tell them. Okay, that was a little embarassing.

3. I don't go to libraries but I read a crazy amount of books.
This started a couple years ago because I turned a book in to the library drop box on the day it was due. Then, nobody checked the drop box for a couple of days, so I got charged a late fee of like 50 cents. I was outraged because I had technically turned it in on time, they were just lazy. So, I stopped checking books out from libraries. I simply buy the books or ask for them for my birthday or christmas. If I know someone has a copy of the book, I will just borrow it from them. I refused to do the same thing again and be charged another late fee. Not to mention, I never know what book to look  for in a library so half the time I check out a book and only get a few chapters into it before realizing it was rubbish or I had read it before and was just wasting my time. At our school we have to go to the library on our own time too, so I have to sacrifice my precious lunch time to go. We only have 30 minutes for lunch, so its not worth it.

4. I live in the corner of the living room in my house.
We have a really small house right now, and there is only one bedroom. My living area is a corner of the living room. I have my bed, which is exactly in the corner. Then I have a shelf with my books and various tube where I keep things that I don't use everyday. Then I have posters and memorobilia covering the two wall sections around me. This is where I keep basically every thing of mine except for clothing. Therefore, in my house there is no "Go to your room" because I lack a room. I'm actually kind of lucky though, because I will be used to living in a cramped space when I go to college, and the dorm I plan to be in is actually bigger than my current living space and the sleeping/personal space has a door that seperates you from the rest of the living area. Whoooo college!

5. I am the jack of all trades when it comes to crafts.
I have been a craft fanatic since I was a small child. I have always loved to paint and draw and color and make things. I started scrapbooking when I was about ten. I have been making things from clay since I was in kindergarten. I know how to make my own paper, not that I do, but I know how. I know some origami. I got into ducttape creating about a year ago, so I have quite a duct tape collection. I know how to sew something with or without a pattern and make it work. I can make my own jewelry, and have sold it on occasion. I modify my own t-shirts. I can screen print shirts and such. I watercolor paint cartoons and other artsy stuff. I made a paper mache piggy bank once, but someone fell on it and it caved in. I learn new stuff all the time, so there really is nothing I can't do.

6. I am and have always been (mostly) an A student.
It was never something that was forced or anything, it just happened. I started school making good grades and I held myself to a high standard of keeping those grades high. My parents never really punished me if I made a B or anything, I just felt like I had failed and tried to do better. I have never failed a class and I don't plan to. For me, a B feels like being mediocre and a C feels like failing. This might change when I go to college, but not much.

7. I am a speed reader.
I read books and things really fast. I can read a page in a minute that would take a normal person five minutes or more. I just can gather in the information really quickly. If the text is something that I really don't care about, the meaning seems to slip away rather quickly, or I might have to read it multiple times to fully absorb it. But, if its a novel that I am reading or an interesting story, I can read it and retain the information really fast.

Well, that is about all I can think of for right now. I might do this again later when I think of more things to say that are interesting. Oh, and I plan on making a video this weekend if I get the chance. Hopefully I get the chance.

K. Love ya. Bye.

Love,
Elizabeth W.

Freaking Out!

Okay, so first, I want you to know that I do not do well in stressful or seemingly crisis situations. Whenever something goes wrong and I don't know how to fix it or who to ask about it and especially when it interferes with my daily activities, I FREAK OUT!

I can't really explain why this happens, it has just always been the way that I am. Most likely, I will cry if I don't have someone there to help me figure things out. And I have almost cried today because of such an event.

I got to my class during which I am allowed to work on my dual credit online college course. Then, even though I know the class won't start for another week, I logged on to the website in order to check and make sure that everything was okay. But when I got to the website, it didn't show me being enrolled in any classes.

It had done something like that before, so I figured it was just a glitch and went ot investigate further. However, it showed that I had dropped my sociology class for this semester. I searched through all the web pages to find why but I couldn't figure it out.

So, now I am sitting here with my heart racing, telling myself not to freak out, but that is exactly what I am doing. You probably couldn't tell by looking at me, but its definately happening.

I have thought about going to the counselor to ask her about it. However, I have this innate hatred toward our school counselor because she sucks (and I don't use that work lightly... or ever) at getting things done and is not a very people-oriented person. I feel like all she'll do if I go down to her office is just insult me or call me stupid because she doesn't want to deal with me. Then she'll look something up and say that I can't take the class for some strange reason and give me a crazy other option and I won't have the ability to talk to my mom about it before making a decision and really if I had just talked to the people at the college they would have just said it was a glitch and they would fix it right away.

I'm really also scared that if I don't go down to talk to her that my mom will make me talk to her tomorrow and I'll go all day today and tomorrow worrying about it. Now I feel all sick inside.

I don't know what to do. I'm afraid that whoever I go to will basicallly just say that I'm stupid or I did something wrong and I won't be able to fix it.

And the books that I had to order for the online class have already been bought and shipped and I'm just scared.





I


AM



SCARED........



I have drama practice today from 4 to 6 so I'll just call my mom before practice starts and ask her what I should do. I'm just afraid that if I start talking to someone about it I'll start crying. That generally happens when I try to talk things like this out with somebody. The counselor is dealing with schedule problems anyway with it being the first day back at school. She probably will be hateful and "not have time to deal with" me anyway.

I wrote down the problem on my top slip of paper on my clipboard, that way I won't forget it. I generally do that or write things on my hand/wrist when I need to remember them.

Now I just need something to distract myself.





I started writing a book yesterday. A children's book. I want very much to finish this one.

I did something different though. I started with the pictures instead of the story. The pictures were sketches that I lightly colored with watercolor colored pencils, then took water and went over to smudge the color around.

I haven't done them all yet. Only about four. I have them hanging on a piece of string strung diagonally from wall to wall above my bed. I wanted to use clothes pins to hang them when they were drying, but I only had paperclips. It still looks cool anyway.

My little brother got a comic book making kit for Christmas. It had paper and three binding things and a couple of cover pages. He also decided the other day that he wants to be an author when he grows up. I had to watch him yesterday for most of the day, so we got it out and started writing books. He still gets upset when things aren't perfect or he can't think of anything though, so he took quite a few breaks for cartoon watching.

I have calmed down significantly now. I'm still anxious and nervous and scared, but I can deal with it.

Love,
Elizabeth W.